Unadulterated Fear

It all started the morning of September 9th.  It was Layla's 4th birthday.  We woke up and everyone was happy.  We talked to my sister, my parents, and the Trenda's on Skype that morning.  ellie was as happy as could be.  She had lots of energy, was laughing, and moving around like crazy.  Then it all went downhill.  It was about 9:15am and I was talking to Bridget on skype.  I was holding ellie in my arms and I noticed that she was slouching and just staring off at a piece of fabric with a flower pattern on it.  I thought it was an odd behavior for her, but it was her nap time so I thought she was just dozing off.  So I laid her in her crib and continued to talk to Bridget.  About a minute later I looked into ellie's crib just to check on her and she was sitting up in the corner, looking to one side and vomitting.  She was not making a sound.  I panicked!  I quickly picked her up and starting talking to her, but she would not respond to me.  I thought maybe she was choking, but her lips were not blue and she was breathing.  I had no idea what was going on.  She would not look at me or respond to me.  It was like she was not there.  I raced outside and screamed for Jack to come to the house.  He, and all our other workers, came racing down to the house.  He took her from me and was trying to assess what was going on with her.  I was a reck, I was balling and basically just freaking out.  She was still throwing up during this time period.  Jack looked her over for a little bit and was trying to get her to respond to him but she wouldn't. Her eyes were looking to the side and slightly moving back and forth. everything in me was telling me that she was having a siezure and that we needed to get her to the doctor.  So we grabbed what we could and started running down the hill.

Of course, because of our luck, our car was parked all the way down the hill by the main road.  They were doing some construction on the road so we were not able to bring our car up to our house.  We had to park pretty far away from our house for a few days.  So we basically just booked it down to the car. Jack was carrying her this whole time.  He noticed that she started responding a little bit to him, like crying and making some movements but she still wouldn't look at him or anything.  So we got to our car and sped down to White Beach where the clinic is (about 3-4 km from our house).  The doctor quickly assessed her there and said that her pupils were unreactive to light and that we needed to get her to the hospital.  So we jumped back in our car and again sped off. 

The closest hospital to us is between 1 1/2 to 2 hours away.  elsie (our national director) was driving the car and he got there in 1 hour.  He was driving crazy but I was glad.  I was a mess this whole time.  During the trip Jack was holding her and she was sleeping.  But about 45 min into the trip she started to get real fussy and wouldn't calm down.  She still wouldn't look at me or respond to me when I spoke to her.  I thought maybe she was hungry so I nursed her.  She actually ate a little and it calmed her for a little while, but then I couldn't calm her anymore.  She seemed to be in so much pain.

So Jack took her back from me and she went silent.  She started to have another siezure.  She began throwing up again and postulating herself to one side.  I actually didn't know this was happening at the time because I was in the seat behind Jack and I couldn't see her.  All I could think during the whole drive to the hospital is, "am I ever going to get my ellie back?"  It was like she checked out.  Almost like she couldn't see or hear me.  I kept worrying that she is going to have permanent brain damage and that she will have siezures for the rest of her life.  Watching her go through this was one of the top horrifying moments of my life.  Being so helpless as a parent...just watching my baby suffer was excruciatingly painful.  I was praying my heart and soul out for her, I knew that was all I could do for her!

ellie trying to walk

This isn't the best video of her trying to walk, but I love the end.  If you listen closely you can hear her quietly laughing.  She is so proud of herself!  I love her...too cute  =)

The Many Faces of Layla!

So the other day I was trying to take a picture of Layla and me together.  She was cracking me up because every time I looked at the picture I had just taken she had done a goofy face without me knowing it!  I had to share these photos because I thought they were funny.  A few of them we were doing funny faces on purpose but the other ones were all her. Meaning I didn't tell her to do it.  Anyways, just wanted to give you a glimpse of the crazy and cute little kid Layla is becoming!

This is my favorite!

chicken

We currently have several chickens that we are trying to raise and sell.  However, some of the chickens get sick and so we butcher them before they get too sick and can't be eaten. For those of you who know me know that I really do not like the idea of seeing my meat alive before I eat it. So having our own chickens is a big stretch for me.  I especially don't like to see when they are butchered.  These are the days that I really miss my local super market.  So, yesterday was one of those butchering days because 2 of our chickens got sick.  I just happened to walk upstairs in the middle of the butchering...lucky me.  So as I try to avoid looking at the killing of the chickens the inevitable happens...I see something that I could have gone my whole life without seeing and lived a happy life.  Dennis (the houseparent of the boys) was squeezing the poop, yes I said poop, out of the dead chicken's body!  It was one of the most disgusting sites I have ever seen! I can't even describe it, but I'm sure you get the picture. I had to walk away before I hurled.  I am just not cut out for butchering and dressing (as they call it) animals.  I try to be ok with most things, but this is one that I just can't do.  I don't even like to eat seafood (like lobster or shrimp) because you are looking at the animal while you eat it.  When I eat a chicken breast I am not envisioning my chicken.  Anyways, I just had to share this experience with you because it was crazy and hilarious at the same time.

Cooking

Today I finally got my propane tank so that I could hook it up to my oven!  You have no idea how exciting this is for me.  I can finally bake again and I am now able to cook down at my house.  Up until this point we were eating all filipino food.  While I really enjoy all the food, (except the dried fish), I don't think I can eat rice again.  I'm sorry to all of my filipino friends, I know how important rice is to you, but I just can't eat it 3 times a day anymore.  I wasn't raised on rice and I really miss my bread. I am also excited because I have been trying to cook here but we are currently cooking over a real fire.  I have done it a few times and am slowly getting better at it, but the truth of the matter is that I suck at it.  The first time I tried to cook spaghetti it took me an hour just to boil water for the noodles.  I couldn't keep the fire going.  It is basically like camping and cooking over an open fire.  So now when I cook over the firewood the filipinos start the fire and keep it going for me...so I just cook my food.  But for instance, last night I cooked fried eggplant.  They weren't all that great and a lot of that is because the heat of the fire is never the same.  So I tip my hat to all the filipinos and other people of the world that cook over an open fire because it is definitely a skill.  I think I will stick to cooking over gas for now, but I do know that if I am ever in a place where I don't have gas, I know how to cook over firewood (it just may take me a while and not taste so good..ha ha ha).